Sometimes I Don't Know What to Feel

Sometimes I don't know what to feel.
Last night I saw a car crush a little dog under its wheel.
It did not even stop;
It just sped off and out of sight.

-Todd Rundgren

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Yes, I copped some Todd lyrics for today's rant. They are from his remarkable album, A Wizard, A True Star. To which I still listen. Which record (did I say that?) is 42 years old. And why Mr. Rundgren isn't in the Rock Hall is beyond me ... never mind; I digress.

But sometimes I don't know what to feel.

I know I'm lousy at shared grief. Especially when a celebrity dies. My sole exception is the late Phil Hartman. But he was my friend.

A race-car driver in a fiery demise. A guy on a snowmobile, doing something snowmobiles weren't meant to do. A rock star OD's. Yes, I feel a little down if I liked the music. But, in general, I can't get worked up.

Pets die. Pet owners are devastated. Especially women who own cats. I once had cats. I am not averse to any pet ownership. But when one dies, what? I can express my condolences but little else. Once, I made the mistake of saying to a quasi-girlfriend, "If you were half as nice to me as you are to your dog, I'd be happy." That got me excommunicated.

I don't want or need to own a gun. Most of my friends here in Pennsy have firearms. I don't think they should have to give up their weapons. But when some get offended about any talk of gun control, I stop listening. This doesn't make me dislike them. Now, I once a heard a guy (a non-friend) remark, "President Osama [that's what he said] is coming to take away my guns." I wasn't offended. It just convinced me that the speaker was a mouth-breathing douchebag,

Sometimes I don't know what to feel.

I feel for people who think the singers on American Got Idol Talent are tremendous. I feel for contestants on cooking contests who have to make a meal out of pomegranates, lovage, suet and Reese's Pieces. And I feel nothing but odium for the smug celebrity judges who make said cooks feel like dog-do.

When Ted Cruz, a candidate to run this country, said, "The problem with climate change is there's never been a day in the history of the world in which the climate is not changing," I didn't know what to feel.

When people nowadays say, "I love you," it carries tissue-thin meaning. The phrase is bandied about so much, it has lost its depth.

I know how I feel when I'm drumming. I feel marvelous. There's that.

I don't know I feel about America. I don't think we are necessarily the best country in the world. I realize this is an unpopular statement. But when people say, "You don't like it here? Move somewhere else," that is just moronic.

Then again, if Ted Cruz gets elected ...